World Cup House Rules | 世界杯期间家庭守则

English Original

My Dear Wife,

The FIFA World Cup is approaching. To ensure harmony during June and July, please adhere to the following rules:

1. I have exclusive control of the TV remote for the entire month.
2. Do not walk in front of the TV during matches. Please pause or, if necessary, crawl.
3. You must support the same team I do.
4. No talking during games. Wait for halftime or the final whistle.
5. Match replays and highlights are as important as live games. I will watch them all.
6. We may watch movies or home videos only if the actors wear soccer jerseys and the setting is Brazil.
7. Advise your friends to avoid scheduling births or weddings during the World Cup, as we will be unavailable.
8. Refrain from asking questions like "Is that Chelsea versus China?" (Chelsea is an English club; China did not qualify).
9. Do not make faces at my friends when they come over to watch.
10. Please smile at all times, except when my team is losing. Understood?
11. Ensure the baby does not cry during matches. Breastfeeding is recommended to soothe them.

中文翻译

亲爱的妻子：

世界杯即将来临。为确保六月和七月的和谐，请遵守以下规则：

1. 整个月，电视遥控器由我独家掌控。
2. 比赛期间，请勿在电视前走动。请原地不动，或在必要时匍匐通过。
3. 你必须支持我所支持的球队。
4. 比赛期间禁止交谈。请等到中场休息或比赛结束。
5. 比赛回放和集锦与直播同等重要。我会全部观看。
6. 我们只能观看演员身穿足球球衣且背景设定在巴西的电影或家庭录像。
7. 请告知你的朋友们，避免在世界杯期间安排生子或婚礼，因为我们无暇出席。
8. 请不要问诸如“那是切尔西对中国队吗？”之类的问题（切尔西是英格兰俱乐部；中国队未晋级本届世界杯）。
9. 当我的朋友来家里看球时，请不要对他们做鬼脸。
10. 请时刻保持微笑，除非我支持的球队输球。明白了吗？
11. 确保宝宝在比赛期间不哭闹。建议用母乳安抚。