English Original
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Ranch Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
中文翻译
起初，神创造了天地，并用西兰花、花椰菜和菠菜，以及各种绿色、黄色和红色的蔬菜装点大地，好让男人和女人健康长寿。
然后，撒旦利用神的伟大馈赠，创造了本杰瑞冰淇淋和卡卡圈坊甜甜圈。撒旦说：“要加巧克力吗？”
男人说：“要！”女人说：“既然你都做了，再加点糖屑吧。”于是他们胖了十磅。撒旦笑了。
神创造了有益健康的酸奶，好让女人保持男人欣赏的苗条身材。撒旦则从麦子中取出精制白面粉，从甘蔗中提取糖，并将它们混合。女人的衣服尺码从6号变成了14号。
于是神说：“尝尝我新鲜的绿色沙拉吧。”撒旦却端上了牧场沙拉酱、黄油面包丁和蒜香烤面包片。男人和女人吃完后松开了腰带。
神接着说：“我赐予你们有益心脏的蔬菜和烹饪用的橄榄油。”撒旦却端上了炸鱼和炸鸡排牛排，大到需要单独的盘子来装。男人的体重进一步增加，胆固醇飙升。
神于是创造了一种轻盈、蓬松的白蛋糕，命名为“天使蛋糕”，并说：“这很好。”撒旦则创造了巧克力蛋糕，命名为“魔鬼蛋糕”。
神接着带来了跑鞋，好让他的孩子们减掉多余的体重。撒旦却提供了带遥控器的有线电视，这样男人就不必费力换台。男人和女人在闪烁的蓝光前又笑又哭，体重又增加了。
然后，神带来了土豆，它天然低脂且营养丰富。撒旦却剥掉健康的表皮，将淀粉质的中心切成片并油炸。男人的体重又增加了。
神于是赐予瘦肉，好让男人摄入更少卡路里仍能满足食欲。撒旦却创造了麦当劳及其99美分的双层芝士汉堡。然后说：“要配薯条吗？”男人回答：“要！还要超大份的！”撒旦说：“这很好。”男人心脏病发作了。
神叹了口气，创造了心脏搭桥手术。
然后，撒旦创造了健康维护组织（HMOs）。