Two men are at a bar. One says, "Did you hear the news? Mike is dead!"
"Whoa, what happened?" asks the other.
"Well, he was coming to my house the other day. He didn't brake properly, hit the curb, and the car flipped. He flew out through the sunroof and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."
"What a horrible way to die!"
"No, he survived that. He landed in my bedroom, covered in glass. He spotted an old antique wardrobe and tried to pull himself up using the handle. Just then, the massive wardrobe crashed down on him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."
"What a terrible way to go!"
"No, he survived that too. He got the wardrobe off, crawled out to the landing, and tried to pull himself up on the banister. It broke under his weight, and he fell to the first floor. In mid-air, the broken banister poles spun and fell on him, pinning him to the floor."
"Now that's the most unfortunate way to go!"
"No, he even survived that. He crawled into the kitchen, tried to pull himself up on the stove, but grabbed a big pot of boiling water instead. The whole thing came down on him, burning most of his skin off."
"Man, what a way to go!"
"No, he survived that! Lying there, covered in boiling water, he spotted the phone and tried to pull himself up to call for help. Instead, he grabbed the light switch, pulled it off the wall, and got electrocuted—10,000 volts shot through him."
"Now that is one awful way to go!"
"No, he survived that..."
"Hold on," the other man interrupts. "Just how did he die?"
"I shot him!" the first man exclaims.
"You shot him? Why on earth did you shoot him?"
"The son of a gun was wrecking my house!"