My mother was a vocal supporter of corporal punishment, but for all her talking, she never spanked my siblings, and me only once. Instead, she found ways of punishment that left a more lasting memory than the short sting of a swat. One of the most memorable occasions occurred when I was four.
In the early 70s, I was in daycare. One day, I watched a tired mother try to pick up her daughter, Susie. Susie wanted to go to McDonald's. When her mother said no, Susie threw a tantrum—kicking and screaming on the floor. No pleading or scolding worked. Finally, her mother gave in. To say I was amazed would be inaccurate; I was delighted, thinking I could get anything by throwing a tantrum.
Later that day, my mother picked me up early to go to Sears & Roebuck. Walking through the toy section, I saw a red and white pull-along telephone I desperately wanted. I asked for it. My mother said, "Not now, but if you're good, maybe Santa will bring it." I insisted, "I want it now!" Her eyes narrowed, and her hand tightened on mine. "You can't have it today, but if you misbehave, you can have a spanking."
We were standing in a long holiday line. I decided it was now or never. I lay on the ground and began screaming, "I want that telephone!" over and over. Weary shoppers looked on as my mother calmly counted, "One… Two… Three." I didn't move, still in full tantrum.
Then, she lay down beside me on the floor and began kicking and screaming, "I want a new car! I want a new house! I want some jewelry! I want…" Shocked, I stood up immediately. "Mama, stop! Mama, get up!" I tearfully pleaded.
She stood and brushed herself off. At first stunned, the others in line began to sporadically clap. Soon, they were cheering, laughing, and patting my mother on the back. She blushed and took a little bow. The next thirty minutes were pure misery for me, as various parents shook their heads at me and said with a smile, "Your mom got you good. I bet you'll never try that again."
And I didn't. Because it left a lasting mental picture far more effective than any physical mark.